Grieving is not a clear-cut process packaged into neat moments that you eventually get over. It is an individualised journey.
One moment you are embracing the loss of a loved one and finding ways to accept it and move on - the next moment it hits you like a ton of bricks when you see something that reminds you of your loved one.
The part that no one talks about is the awkwardness that comes from people surrounding you, the digital reminders that persist on social media pages in the form of birthdays and being tagged in pictures. It's the jumbled cycle of emotions that persist once you have said your goodbyes, and how the sadness can come back even after years have passed by. So how do you manage the multifaceted aspects of grief?
Juggling the mundane painful details
Psychologists list five stages of grief that everyone goes through; starting as denial, progressing to anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It may not happen in this order as some people experience it in different ways and at different times.
Preparing for your loved one's funeral and dealing with processing a life cover claim can leave some people feeling numb. It is in the awkward manner in which people tiptoe around the discussion of the loss of a loved one. For some, it can be a painful reminder that they are truly gone. The part that no one tells you about is the mundane painful details that prop up on those random days.
Be it a song, a smell, or a phrase that someone says that reminds you of them. Most people find it harder when the anniversary of their passing comes closer, awakening feelings of pain that they thought had long healed.
The truth is you never get over it, but we find ways to deal with it better. According to research, people have different ways of dealing with the various stages of loss. What might work for one person may not work for the next. However, talking about it is the start. Normalising the conversation around death and loss can help you face dealing with life without your partner, mother, father, grandmother, or child.
Not all conversations about loss have to be deep and meaningful, but it can be something that celebrates the life that your loved one lived or hilarious things that they used to do as a reminder to celebrate life in all its form. Remember that having a group of people or a psychologist to help you navigate grief can make your journey a bit easier to deal with.